If there were a FAQ...

My middle name is Renee.
Five animals rule the roost: Paul, Ender, Dexter, Bean, & Lucy.
Strong coffee w/cream is the wakeup beverage of choice.
Gin martinis, dirty, are the evening beverage of choice.
I'd probably say that I'd do you for good chocolate.
I'd probably renege on the deal.
The scent of rain makes me melancholy.
I love my car -- VW Jetta, 2001, black, stick. Vroom.
Water, milk (1%), Pepsi, tea -- in that order.
I consult my magic 8 ball for all important and major decisions.
Gravy makes just about everything better.
The best meal I ever had was in New Orleans -- grits, eggs, & chicory coffee.
I actually like a few of the "reality" shows.
I used to hate where I live.
I now love where I live.
The ocean calls to me, constantly.
I believe my dreams have meaning -- even the ones where I'm discussing literature with The Backstreet Boys. *blink*
Pink flamingos -- the plastic kind -- rock.
At this point, I think all politicians are right bastards.
I am intimate friends with obsession and his brother dependency.
Sushi, good.
I got offered a job at an "adult web site" a year ago -- as a PERL programmer. This was pretty cool considering all I knew how to do was write a program that printed out "Hello, World!"
I collect cootie bugs, bionicles, Rincon figurines, books, orchids, and dust.
Sometimes I jot down weird thoughts: in the methods of all my madness there is a stillness that, when examined closely, makes me think of you & those nights where you smoked cigarette after cigarette while i hung, limp and exhausted, on every word that fell from your foul mouth.
I could have been tight with Charles Bukowski.
Someday I will be finished with school. Of course, I may not live to see it, but it could happen.
Laptops make life much easier.
My father has been dead over five years. I miss him. A lot.
Voodoo works.
Current books on my desk: "The St. Martin's Guide to Writing", "Letters fro the Earth", "Queer Theory", "Run with the Hunted", "Neon Vernacular", "In Cold Blood", "To Kill a Mockingbird", "MLA Handbook", "The Orchid Thief", "2003 Movie and Video Guide", and "The Synonym Finder" (with over 1 MILLION synonyms - the largest, most comprehensive thesaurus in print).
I owe my best friend Becky over 1,000,000¥
I really, really, really like 80s new wavey music.
I would like to watch every scary movie in the world before I die.
I'm an optimist.
I have pessimistic tendencies.
I would drink Veuve and Laurent Perrier every single day, if I could get away with it.
Urban legends delight me.
Our anniversary is May 11. We were married in 2001 & he can still put up with me -- that, my friends, is what true love is all about.
Nick (my NRLP's ex) is an asshole.
I want to learn how to play mahjong.
My favorite movie is "The Urban Cowboy". I bet you have a deep dark secret, too, so shush.
I saw a transvestite prostitute in Lima one time...and complained because her legs were better than mine.
I will be finishing this list up at Borders -- laptops truly are remarkable things.
I did not finish my nanowrimo project for 2002 -- but there's always 2003 to look forward to!
Books helping explain puberty and sex to kids are scary.
My in-laws think I'm related to Satan.
They may be right.
Halloween is my favorite holiday.
Shh...but I think the guy next to me is gay. Plus his head is shiny.
Burt's Beeswax products are the best in the world. If you have chapped lips, dry skin, and prefer all natural ingredients to...err...non all natural ingredients (?) this stuff was made for you.
If I were going to be on a deserted island (as opposed to a desserted island), the five following items would be absolutely necessary to my survival: Burt's Bees lip balm, stuff to make coffee every day (they all get included into one item, so there), two pounds of chocolate, the mp3 player thingy, and the husband.
I am accident prone.
I have subscriptions to the following magazines: National Geographic, Discover, & Smithsonian. I'm still waiting for a gift subscription to Martha Stewart's Living. Hrmph.
Paul's friend Jason needs a haircut.
I once got in a fight with my friend Eric at Disneyland, proving yet once again that it is, indeed, the happiest place on earth.
People who incessantly whine without doing anything to fix their woes annoy me.
Sometimes I whine incessantly about my woes and refuse to do anything to fix them.
I hate brussel sprouts even though they sound like they'd taste pretty gosh darned good.
I am coding this entire page in notepad. What a dumbass I am.
Some music I love: Etta James, Ottmar Leibert, Muddy Waters, McCoy Tyner, The Indigo Girls, Fiona Apple, Squeeze, Dave Matthews, Bruce Cockburn, Eminem.
The husband told me that if, after we have a baby, I stay at home and write with the intention of trying to get published, he'd buy me a horse.
I'm all about whoring myself out for a horse.
We recently purchased a Chattam and Wells bed and it's so delightful that I can almost forget it cost more than our trip to Hawaii is going to cost.
Home theater surround sound systems make dvd watching good; watching tele without makes me go pft.
I very seldom drive the speed limit...unless I'm on the 405. And even then I'm technically not driving the speed limit -- I'm going three damn miles an hour.
I am afraid of confined spaces and extreme heights.
The best concert I've been to was at the House of Blues. Etta James made my toes tingle.
I'm seeing Eddie Izzard in September, 2003. I plan on throwing makeup brushes on stage.
My dog has been sprayed by a skunk.
My other dog has killed a squirrel.
Sometimes I don't like living in the country.
We are planning on buying a horse within the next year or so.
I want to board my horse at this facility. Mr. Man can whisper to my horse any time he wants.
My friend Becky and I make our own soap. We make superb soap.
I like apple juice but don't like apples. I hate orange juice but love oranges.
I kissed a Puerto Rican boy in a Porsche at a rally car race and wrote a poem about it. It was a really bad poem.
I write really brilliant poetry for my husband but never give it to him.
I have to have the closet door closed at night.
I am all about Queer Love making the world a more attractive place.
I write with fountain pens...and am in need of another one.